You Were Remembered Today

Hi friend

It's been a while.
But just because I haven't written, doesn't mean you're not on my mind.
I wanted you to know how often, and how lovingly, you're remembered; every day by so many people.

You were remembered last night as I looked up in the choir loft and saw your sister singing.  Her smile reminds me of yours.
It made me remember your beautiful voice.

You were remembered last week when your bother and his family came to my house for my daughter's recital.
It made me remember the tone and love and goodness that always filled the room when you performed.  I could feel you smiling down on my little Aliya Georgia, as she played her heart out.

You were remembered a few weeks ago when September 25th came around again.  I brought pink and cream roses from the Quarter Notes to your grave and wept.
It made me remember how fleeting this life is, and how crucial it is that we treasure the time we're given with those we love.

You were remembered last month when I sat watching your dear mother share her testimony about the Savior and His goodness with millions of people all over the world.
It made me remember her words at your funeral.  "This is not my plan for Georgia, but it is God's plan for her.  And because it's His plan, I will accept it with faith."

You were remembered today as I thought about our friend Cami, on her birthday.
It made me remember the special bond the two of you have, and how blessed we are to know that relationships with the ones we love are eternal.

You were remembered yesterday, as I sat at my daughter's violin lesson and noticed, again, that charcoal sketch of you, tenderly tucked in the bookshelf of your violin teacher, overseeing the teaching of hundreds of violin students.
It made me remember that everyone experiences heartache and grief, and that it's our choice as to how we move forward with faith.

And you are remembered every day, every moment in which there is love and compassion and joy.

Thinking of you,
Brit

Because of Him

Easter is a lovely time of year.
New blossoms on the trees, the sun returns, the life awakens after a long and cold winter.

Hope simply is in the air.

And I just want you to know, dear Georgia, that Easter is real to me because of you.

Because of Him, we will be reunited.
Because of Him, I have hope that we will embrace again.
Because of Him, I know our friendship is eternal.

Happy Easter, dear friend.

A Tribute To Georgia

Last year I told Kate that I would put together a video of the balloon releases from around the world, and finally, one year after the 10th anniversary of her death, I got it finished.  It took me so long because every time I'd try to work on it, my emotions would resurface and I would just cry and cry.  Happy tears, sad tears, tears of longing - so I had to keep postponing it.  As I kept working on it, though, it just didn't feel good enough.  Even though it's finished, it still doesn't feel good enough.  But it is my offering to her, and to all of you - however you knew her.

I know there are some clips and photos that might not be included on this video.  If I missed, you please let me know and send me what you have.  I can always add it in later.  But Kate and I wanted to get this out TODAY, because today is Georgia's day.  And we wanted to celebrate her life, to do something special for her.

I thought it fitting to end the video with the singing of "Beautiful Savior" at her gravesite.  As you watch this, you probably will mourn somewhat again.  But the final words that were sung that night one year ago were "He makes the sorrowing spirit sing!"  How true those words are!  I hope you all feel united in love as you see remembrances of Georgia all around the world, and feel your sorrowing spirit sing!

Love to you all-

Haleigh Vance

I've Come Home

Today I had occasion to attend a reunion for some of the senior missionary couples who served in Nauvoo, many of which served during the summer of 2000 with Georgia.  After lunch, we were favored with a performance by some of the former Young Performing Missionaries from 1999, 2000, 2001 and 2009.  (I was there because my husband, a YPM from Georgia's year, performed with them.)

As a side note: most of those YPM's are now middle-aged performing missionaries, or "MAPM's" as one of them puts it!

As those YPM's performed, I sat in the audience and could feel the spirit and peace of Nauvoo washing over my soul.  I could just picture Georgia up there with them in her pink dress, with her long brown hair pulled back out of her face, and her eyes sparkling as she sang and smiled; testifying with her music and her voice of God's goodness and love.

My husband performed a song called "I've Come Home"; one of my favorite songs from the show not only because of the way Matt sings it, but because of the words.

Listening to him sing made me think of Georgia in her Heavenly Home, watching over and guiding us with her love, peace, and eternal perspective.

"I"ve come home;
Now at last I feel that I've come home.
And if home is where the heart is,
Clearly, it is here.  I am at home.

"I've come home;
Now at last I feel that I've come home;
And tho worlds away from all I've known,
I'm not alone.
I have come home."

I've been thinking this summer about how Georgia's departure created this certain space in my heart; space which, eleven years ago, I would have described as aching and sad and grieving.  But as time goes on, I'm seeing that that space is being filled with friendships and love from people whose lives she also touched.  It's like that space in my heart is reserved for a special kind of love and friendship with people like me who miss her.

I find myself drawn to people who knew her and loved her as I did.  I watch for her two siblings at choir rehearsal.  My family regularly gathers with the family of another YPM who served with her in Nauvoo.  We have switched doctors so that her brother is now our pediatrician.  Yesterday at violin group class I spent the entire time talking with her sister-in-law.  At music camp, I make it a point to check in with one of her violin-playing nieces, who I've kept tabs on for a few years now and who, though half my age, I count as one of my dear friends.  And then when her lovely mother stopped me in the hall to say hello and I love you; well, that was icing on the cake!

And I see God's great mercy in this: that He is filling that space in my heart, which I once viewed as void but now see as abundant to overflowing, with more love and more friendships than it would have otherwise had room for.

So thank you, Georgia, for giving me these beautiful people in my life.  For sending them to me to buoy me up and inspire me with rememberances and stories of you.  I only hope I do the same for them, in my own small way.  I miss you every day, but I'm not alone in feeling that way; and that is the beauty of it.  We have been brought together by love; and what better thing to have in common?

"...And my pathway is sure.
I've come home."

We Do Not Have To Be Old To Be Great

I was reading a conference talk tonight by Spencer W. Kimball. He was talking about the church's 150th anniversary, and after reading this quote I immediately thought of Georgia.

"Just as an individual’s life can often make up in quality what it lacks in length of years, so The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has compressed into 150 years many significant accomplishments. We don’t have to be old to be great."

Georgia compressed so very much into 21 years or so - what she lacked in time she made up for in quality. 

She didn't have to be old to be great. 

Christmas Angel

Oh Georgia, you always know how to touch my heart!

I think I am not the only one who considers you an angel in my life, someone who is watching over me, caring for me, guiding me in my life's decisions.  I have felt your nudge, your comfort, your presence at crucial points in my life, and I thank you for continuing to be such an important, positive influence on me.

I think of you whenever anyone mentions "heavenly hosts singing Allelujah"...which happens alot this time of year.

As I was putting away the Christmas decorations the other day, I came across a box that I haven't opened for over ten years.  My first instinct was to throw it away, because I certainly have enough Christmas decorations, and if I hadn't opened it in a decade, why ever would I need it now?  But my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to open it.  Inside the box, among such kitchy gems as ceramic Santas and porcelain reindeer, I found a tiny wooden angel mounted to a letter written on cardstock paper.  It was from you, dated Christmas of 1997.  I cannot tell you how it warmed my heart to read a letter that had been handwritten by you to me, to be reminded again of our friendship and love for each other, and to realize that that friendship truly is eternal.  (I also loved that the letter starts out "Dear Haleigh..." and then Haleigh's name is scratched out and mine written there instead, with a goofy "sorry" scribbled next to it!)

On the other side of the letter was a scripture I don't usually associate with Christmas, but most certainly do associate with you.  "For He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways."  Psalms 91:11

Thanks, Georgia, for fulfilling your charge so beautifully.

Merry Christmas.

My Little Sister, Georgia

I have been reading these posts about Georgia, looking at the pictures that usher in a flow of memories, listening to friends that explain different moments in her life that affected them, meeting all the children that are named after her and feeling the emotions rushing around in my heart.  It's quite an experience to  sit down and write my thoughts about my little sister.  She is so dear to me.  What to share?  Do I write an essay (as many have) regarding how it must feel for one of my best friends to die suddenly and then feeling the loss of that friendship? Do I bear my testimony that I know we will be together again and we will commune with love together forever? Do I admit to the tears of pain and sadness when I miss her and wonder what it would be like to have her here living down the street as a 31 year old vibrant woman? Do I start with the tender moments in the last ten years when I've prayed to Heavenly Father for Georgia's help and then felt her sweet spirit near? I'm sure you can see, dear reader, that for an older sister, who is supposed to be the example and a strong one in her life, a tribute to Georgia is full of emotions, thoughts, experiences, hopes, remembrances and "what do I say"'s.  For now, I'll share a letter, that if she were here, I would send to Georgia:

Dear Georgia,

Ah, it is a beautiful fall day....well, actually, it is a little overcast. BUT, the leaves are falling, the wind is crisp and I can feel the change in the air!  Isn't fall an amazing season?  The mountains are beautiful, also.  We went up to the cabin last weekend to celebrate Mom's birthday. It was so fun to be with the family, hear the nieces and nephews squawking and playing games inside and out and bundling up to grill outside before running back into the warmth.  We talked about Elder Anderson's talk in General Conference a bit. What did you think??  What was it like to hear your name and our experience over the pulpit?  I think Elder Anderson was very well spoken in explaining a difficult trial.  Of course, we all like to talk of it as a learning experience instead of a trial. Somehow thinking of it as a learning experience makes it a forward-thinking, pre-ordained happening that we try to understand instead of a backward, stuck, sad moment in our lives.

I often wonder what you are doing. Then, I think of you laughing and smiling as we ask that question.  I can see you smiling your coy, playful little smile and saying with a wink, "Oh, you'll see!"  and then after a moment, exclaiming, "It's so awesome to be able to see my friends and family all the time! I don't have to take an airplane anymore! I get to do what I have always wanted to do: teach, support, sing with and love those that I love!"  At least, that is what I imagine your response to be.  I'll admit that often I just want to see you and talk face to face with you.  There are so many people who talk about you - even ten years later!  It's amazing to me that your spirit lives on so strongly outside of our family.  It's quite a blessing to us to hear all of the wonderful things you did while you were at college. Actions you took to help others. Letters you wrote to lift your roommates. Performances you shared that brought those listening closer to the Lord - and taught them how to feel the Spirit of the Lord. It makes me feel closer to you.  There are some beautiful words that Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf shared in the October 2012 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He said,

"So often we get caught up in the illusion that there is something just beyond our reach that would bring us happiness: a better family situation, a better financial situation, or the end of a challenging trial.  The older we get, the more we look back and realize that external circumstances don't really matter or determine our happiness. WE do matter. WE determine our happiness. You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness... no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it." 

So, I go on in life with hope! Faith! Charity!  I know I'll see you again, my dear sister.  I love you.  Until that day when we are reunited, I will find something in each day to embrace and cherish. I will share the Spirit of the Lord and the love I know you share with us, with those I come in contact with.  I love you, my dear.  Keep singing and skipping along.  We are there for you as you are there for us!  Move forward with joy in your journey!

Love, Caroline.