My Little Sister, Georgia

I have been reading these posts about Georgia, looking at the pictures that usher in a flow of memories, listening to friends that explain different moments in her life that affected them, meeting all the children that are named after her and feeling the emotions rushing around in my heart.  It's quite an experience to  sit down and write my thoughts about my little sister.  She is so dear to me.  What to share?  Do I write an essay (as many have) regarding how it must feel for one of my best friends to die suddenly and then feeling the loss of that friendship? Do I bear my testimony that I know we will be together again and we will commune with love together forever? Do I admit to the tears of pain and sadness when I miss her and wonder what it would be like to have her here living down the street as a 31 year old vibrant woman? Do I start with the tender moments in the last ten years when I've prayed to Heavenly Father for Georgia's help and then felt her sweet spirit near? I'm sure you can see, dear reader, that for an older sister, who is supposed to be the example and a strong one in her life, a tribute to Georgia is full of emotions, thoughts, experiences, hopes, remembrances and "what do I say"'s.  For now, I'll share a letter, that if she were here, I would send to Georgia:

Dear Georgia,

Ah, it is a beautiful fall day....well, actually, it is a little overcast. BUT, the leaves are falling, the wind is crisp and I can feel the change in the air!  Isn't fall an amazing season?  The mountains are beautiful, also.  We went up to the cabin last weekend to celebrate Mom's birthday. It was so fun to be with the family, hear the nieces and nephews squawking and playing games inside and out and bundling up to grill outside before running back into the warmth.  We talked about Elder Anderson's talk in General Conference a bit. What did you think??  What was it like to hear your name and our experience over the pulpit?  I think Elder Anderson was very well spoken in explaining a difficult trial.  Of course, we all like to talk of it as a learning experience instead of a trial. Somehow thinking of it as a learning experience makes it a forward-thinking, pre-ordained happening that we try to understand instead of a backward, stuck, sad moment in our lives.

I often wonder what you are doing. Then, I think of you laughing and smiling as we ask that question.  I can see you smiling your coy, playful little smile and saying with a wink, "Oh, you'll see!"  and then after a moment, exclaiming, "It's so awesome to be able to see my friends and family all the time! I don't have to take an airplane anymore! I get to do what I have always wanted to do: teach, support, sing with and love those that I love!"  At least, that is what I imagine your response to be.  I'll admit that often I just want to see you and talk face to face with you.  There are so many people who talk about you - even ten years later!  It's amazing to me that your spirit lives on so strongly outside of our family.  It's quite a blessing to us to hear all of the wonderful things you did while you were at college. Actions you took to help others. Letters you wrote to lift your roommates. Performances you shared that brought those listening closer to the Lord - and taught them how to feel the Spirit of the Lord. It makes me feel closer to you.  There are some beautiful words that Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf shared in the October 2012 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He said,

"So often we get caught up in the illusion that there is something just beyond our reach that would bring us happiness: a better family situation, a better financial situation, or the end of a challenging trial.  The older we get, the more we look back and realize that external circumstances don't really matter or determine our happiness. WE do matter. WE determine our happiness. You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness... no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it." 

So, I go on in life with hope! Faith! Charity!  I know I'll see you again, my dear sister.  I love you.  Until that day when we are reunited, I will find something in each day to embrace and cherish. I will share the Spirit of the Lord and the love I know you share with us, with those I come in contact with.  I love you, my dear.  Keep singing and skipping along.  We are there for you as you are there for us!  Move forward with joy in your journey!

Love, Caroline.